CHANGE AND TRANSITION

I am in the midst of reading The Way of Transition: Embracing Life’s Most Difficult Moments, William Bridges (Perseus Publishing, Cambridge, Mass, 2001). In it, so far, he has been relating the changes and transitions in his life during his wife’s dealing with cancer and her death. Bridges alternates his narrative with chapters drawing out his learning about change and transition. The narrative pulls at one’s heart string as we walk with him and Mondi, especially as her death draws closer and finally occurs. For Bridges and Mondi, there was considerable time for anticipating and preparing for the change which would be occasioned by her death. Not everyone has that has that excruciating luxury.

As I was reading, I could not help think about the difference between change and transition as they are related to the life of a pastor and congregation. We may spend intentional time, prior to the change, trying to help the congregation, and our self, prepare for the proposed change. The session (church board) acts to make a change. It could be changing the church school curriculum, worship times, relocation of the place of the congregation, or anything else. This week worship is held at 11:00. Next week worship be held at 9:00. The change happens.

How do we deal with the transition, the adaption, to the change? The rhythm of Sunday morning to which all have long been accustomed is disrupted. The air conditioning or heating of the worship space has to be adjusted for the comfort of the worshipers. Parents with young children have to get up earlier and awaken the kids earlier so all can get to worship on time. For some medication times have to be adjusted. It is not uncommon to hear remarks such as, “I didn’t like the idea when I first heard about it. I don’t like it now. I feel like my whole Sunday routine has been taken away. It just doesn’t feel right.” “I’ve had to give up lunch with my friends. Now we have to do brunch. It just doesn’t feel right.”

The process of transition is the inner emotional work of letting go of what was and moving toward the acceptance of what is coming to be. Transitions take time to make the trip from the past to the future which is becoming. Last winter my wife and I had to make the hard decision of putting down our 12 year old cat. He was very sick and was not going to get well. One day he was with us and the next day he wasn’t. Many mornings went by before I stopped looking for him on the top step waiting for us to come down stairs and fix his breakfast. We gave away most of the stuff and equipment we had accumulated, yet we kept expecting him to jump up on Nancy’s lap or my desk in the evening. It took us weeks to come to terms that Misha was gone. The tapestry of our life had to be unknotted and strings pulled out to move into life in his absence.

It is important to realize that just because a change has been announced or happens everybody immediately is not going to be on board and living comfortably with the new situation. It takes time for many to go through the processing of letting go and taking hold. We need to work as hard, or harder, helping people while they go through the transition as in planning and enacting the change.