Heavy Is the Head Which Wears the Crown

Many years ago, when I was a pastor of a congregation in the Greater St. Louis Area, I was blessed to have a mentor/coach/friend who was willing to listen to my belly-aching about frustrations in the pastorate. Yet, often I heard his refrain, “Heavy is the head which wears the crown.” The actual quote comes from Shakespeare's Henry IV, Part 2, Act 3, Scene 1. Feeling the burden of leadership, the king bemoans, How many thousand of my poorest subjects are at this hour asleep! O sleep, O gentle sleep, . . . Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.

There is a significant burden in being a leader. This is true for parents, pastors, and presidents. Yes, there were times when I lost sleep as a pastor. I lost more nights to sleeplessness when serving as an executive presbyter. I cannot begin to imagine how many sleepless nights presidents of our nation have lost to that burden of responsibility. In the book Executive Orders, President Jack Ryan asks lead Secret Service Agent Andrea Price who she talks to for advice and counsel. She responds, You know, they told me at Quantico, at Basic Officers’ School, that command could be lonely. Boy, they weren’t kidding. They really weren’t kidding. . ..There’s always supposed to be somebody smarter than you. The person you go to when you’re not sure. Now, they come to me. I’m not smart enough for that. (Executive Orders, Tom Clancy, G.P. Putman’s Sons, 1996, pg. 278)

There are times when we as ministers become trapped into having all the answers. The trap can be self-sprung thinking since we are seminary trained we are to have all the answers. The trap can be set and sprung by congregational expectations. Believing we are to have all the answers or being expected to have all the answers leads to sleepless night with an uneasy head. How do we avoid that trap?

In the early 1970s the Presbyterian church school senior high material, Christian Faith and Action, pointed to the necessity of maintaining a “comic perspective” about life and self. It is important for us not to take ourselves too seriously. Not only are we not to believe we have all the answer, we DO NOT have all the answers. It is perfectly acceptable to say, “I don’t know.” It is far better to say that then to make up or give an errant answer.

What about the expectations for congregational members that we will have all the answers? As we maintain a honest comic perspective about our self, we are able to help congregational members loosen up on their expectations of us. We can admit we do not know and offer two options. We can volunteer to try to find the answer. We can enlist them in joining us to find the answer, if there is one.

There are many burdens in being a pastor which can cause sleepless nights. Thinking we have to have all the answers does not need to be one of those burdens.

Are We Willing To Take a Risk?

I have been thinking about the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30. We know the householder had distributed a certain amount of money to each of three servants. To one he gave ten talents (minas), to another five and to a third one. It is recorded that upon his return he was very pleased that the two with the greater amount of talents when they doubled the amount they had been given. It is recorded that he was greatly displeased with the one who carefully protected the one talent and simply returned it to the householder.

As I read this parable, I am seeing it as two were risk takers and the one avoided risk. “Master, I knew that you were a harsh man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not scatter seed; so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground.” (Mt 25:24-25 NRSV) He was afraid of taking a risk.

I wonder what the reaction of the householder would have been if the one with ten talents had lost the ten talents in a venture capital investment? “Master, for many years I have watched and studied your investment practices. Using your methodology, I saw this opportunity as a possible way of not only doubling the talents you entrusted to me; having investigated this opportunity as thoroughly as possible, it seemed you could have realized a tenfold return. The day after I made the investment the stock shot up like a stone hurled from a sling. After a month it plateaued. Then the value dropped like a rock.  I am sorry to report the project failed and I lost your ten talents.”

Would the householder have had the servant flogged and thrown out into the street? Would he have demanded restitution? (A talent was worth about thirteen years wages for a servant.) Would he have praised the servant for the willingness to run the risk, even knowing how harsh the householder was? We know no risk, hiding the talent in the ground, produced no reward. But what if there is a big risk which produces no return?

What is the balance in our ministry between no risk and no reward and high risk with the possibility of either a great reward or losing everything? As I look around, I see the church and those who serve it as becoming more and more risk adverse. We feel we are in a desperate situation seeing our survival slipping away. All the data tells us we are decreasing in numbers and in financial resources. We cringe at the thought of the church councils making any decision which might upset those in the pews.

Our willingness to take a risk depends on how we answer the question of how the householder would have responded to the servant who lost the ten talents. Are we willing to take the risk, or are we like the servant who was afraid and hid the talent in the ground? Avoiding risk did not work very well for that servant.

Have we become idolatrous in fearing for our survival? Have we elevated survival above faithfulness? In the Foundational section of the Book of Order (PCUSA) we read, The Church is to be a community of faith, entrusting itself to God alone, even at the risk of losing its life.
(F-1.0301) Do we believe the words of penned by Daniel Towner in 1886, “Trust and obey, For there’s no other way To be happy in Jesus, But to trust and obey?”
(http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/582#ixzz2lOTR8mQr) 

Maslow tells us survival is the base in the hierarchy of needs. Fear for our survival makes us very risk adverse. The first question and answer to the Heidelberg Catechism carries the same encouragement as does Roman 14:7-8, We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves. If we live, we live in the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.

 
So, in answer to the question, “What would have been the householder’s reaction to the loss of the ten talents by the servant willing to take a huge risk on behalf of the householder?,” I believe the willingness to take a risk would have been rewarded. What do you think?

What Is the Next Move?



As the screen shot above reveals, I was idly playing solitaire and it dawned on me that in life and in ministry each move dictates options for future moves. This is true in chess, checkers, baseball, football, or any other human endeavor including ministry.

In the game above there are multiple choices for the next move. Do you move the ten of hearts to the jack? The four of hearts to the five? The seven of hearts to the eight? As is clear, there are many options. Some options cut off the possibility of a future move. Others open multiple options. Hidden from our sight are the cards which are face down. Those cards are very much like the unknown responses or reactions of others involved in the congregation.

One of the things I discovered, in other games, is staring at the screen often blinds us to moves which are right there. Looking away and coming back to the screen suddenly the move is clearly there. “Why didn’t I see that before?”

As I reflect upon ministry, there are many times when the present move sets up a whole series of subsequent moves. Many times the moves may be made without thought or regard for what would be opened or closed as a result of that move. In retrospect, I wish I had taken just a bit more time to consider how the present move would dictate the next move or bring an end to the “game.”

I cannot help but ask, “How would my ministry be different if I would have taken the time to consider what the consequences a potential move might influence possible future moves?

Let Me Come Clean

I wish I had had a coach in my early years of ministry. If I had had a coach I might have avoided issues which led to unhappy endings to a succession of calls. Oh, I give thanks for executive and associate presbyters who helped in the relocation processes. But none ever pressed me to look into myself and ask the tough growth questions. I give thanks for a couple very supportive elders in those early years and who were encouraging. I knew they had my back. They all were helpful. What would have been more helpful would have been a person outside of my particular situation and outside of my presbytery who would have been a guide in taking an honest and fearless assessment of my behaviors. I am not talking about therapy (although I probably would have benefited from that also).

My first call ended poorly after about eighteen months. I was engaged as an assistant pastor with responsibilities in Christian Education and social ministry. We were having some budget pressures. I didn’t feel the amount budgeted for Christian education was sufficient. In a conversation with the leader of Women of the Church, I was very clear about my disappointment with the proposed budget figure. She told the head of staff. I can see now that my expression of disappointment was received by the head of staff as subversive. He and I had a tense conversation with his invitation and my intent to relocate as quickly as possible. A coach would have been helpful for me to see other means and places to voice my concerns.

My second call was to two congregations. One was in a small village and the other was in an open farming area of the county. I know now they felt pushed by me to be much more programmatic and they wanted somebody just to walk with them. A coach would have helped me to see the difference before it was too late. After three years, with the third year being very tense, I sought relocation.

My third call was to an area near St. Louis where suburbanization was rapidly expanding. What had been a rather staid country congregation which, years before was the result of a three congregation merger, was now facing an influx of new people and new ideas. For about the first five years things went fairly well. There were some rough spots, but we lived through them. If I had had a coach I could have had significant growth through those rough spots. The sixth and seventh years were really rocky. Turnover in the membership was rapid as job transfers and disaffection took their toll. In one fourteen month period we rotated fifteen people on and off a session of twelve. An elder could only serve one three year term and then had to be off the session for a year. The year before, we had finished a twelve month mission study. With the rapid turnover I was practically the only one with a commitment to the goals which came out of the mission study. A coach could have helped me deal with things much more effectively.

It took me three distressing endings to calls, before I finally was able, in my fourth congregational call, to begin to get some handles on being a more faithful and effective pastor, still there were rough spots to be lived through. In my fifth call, to presbytery service, which lasted twenty-three years, there were still many situations which could have been handled better with the help of a coach.

So now, I am seeking to provide coaching to ministers and commissioned ruling elders in their early years of service. I want to provide them with the opportunity to have somebody outside their context and presbytery to reflect with them upon their ministry for present and future growth. After three calls with painful endings my goal is to help others avoid many of the pitfalls into which I tumbled. Here is my website https://wayostccs.com.

Just Not Enough Time

I really hate to paint. We have been fixing up a room in the basement for me to use as an “office.” Part of the fixing up entails painting one of the walls and the water closet. I have never been able to cut in the edges around the woodwork without getting paint on it. I am envious of those who can cut in the edges without previously having taped the edges.

Perhaps one of the reasons I don’t like painting is I just want to get it done. It takes so much time to do all the prep work. Yes, I know two-thirds of the time and effort to a good paint job is in the preparation. Taking the time to make sure the surface is clean and smooth and to tape the edges makes a significant difference in the finished project.

Over the years, I always felt I had to hurry and get the job done, because time was limited due to other responsibilities. Even now, with significantly fewer pressing responsibilities, I still feel the press to “get ‘er done.” I know yielding to that press will either result in a sloppy or unfinished painting project.

To be honest that press to finish a project has not only been related to painting projects. As a pastor, there more times than I care to admit when the sermon preparation got a lot less attention than it should have gotten. I liked doing sermon preparation. I liked doing the study, allowing time for prayer and reflection, allowing time for it all to simmer and then finally coming together for delivery. Yet, I have to admit there were times when the sermon ended up being a “Saturday night special.” There were members to visit in the hospital, nursing home or at home. There was preparing for committee or session meetings. There were administrative tasks. There was community involvement. There were presbytery committee meetings. Oh, yes, there was my wife and family. The list of other responsibilities and expectations never seemed to have an end, Sunday always came around.

There are two stories which illustrate differing approaches to sermon preparation. A minister always was busy “doing the Lord’s work.” Each Sunday, during the hymn before the sermon, the preacher would take his Bible in hand and let the pages fall open. He would close his eyes, extend his pointer finger and press it down on the page. Whatever verse he was pointing to would be the text for the sermon. He would mount the pulpit and declare, “This is what the Lord has to say to the congregation today.” He would then read the Scripture to which he had pointed and launch into his 25 minute sermon. One Sunday his finger pointed to an obscure verse. He was stymied. Even after the hymn had ended he remained seated. After some very uncomfortably long moments he finally rose to the pulpit and said, “The Lord doesn’t have anything to say today. Let’s sing another hymn, take up the offering and go home.”

A friend told the story of being on an extended visit in Scotland during which he developed a strong relationship with a parish pastor. One day over lunch my friend was talking about all the things he had to do in his usual weekly duties and that he regularly would put in fifty to sixty hours a week. One of his complaints was there were so many things needing his attention he didn’t feel he had enough time to prepare his sermon and for the weekly bible study. He said there were always people coming to the office. Some came just to chit-chat and some came with problems or concerns.

After several minutes of listening to the American pastor, the Scottish pastor leaned forward and said, “There is nothing more important to be done than preparing the sermon and the bible study. My people know my first priority is preparation for preaching and teaching. Every day my office door is closed from eight in the morning until noon. My phone is unplugged. I do not receive and open the mail. I do not chit-chat with members or elders, nor am I there to solve all their issues or concerns. My people expect excellent preaching and teaching and they leave me alone to prepare for both.”

I have heard a lot of complaints from ministers, members and elders that the seminary did not prepare ministers to do this or that. “The seminaries ought to have more classes on administration, counseling, working with youth and young adults, running a committee or session meeting.” No seminary curriculum can prepare us for everything we or others expect to be done. The first and only, task of the seminary is to prepare us to preach and teach the Word faithfully.

Who controls how we spend our time? We do! We cannot ignore all the other things which call for our attention either from our own expectations or those of others. What is it we were called to? What is our first priority in the use of our time in service to God and the people with whom we minister? The sooner we figure that out the more effective we become.

Enough from me today, I have a sloppy and unfinished paint job calling my name

Where Were the Pickup Trucks and SUVs?

Nancy and I just returned from 14 days in the British Isles and London. The trip was our retirement gift to ourselves. It is really a different world across the pond. Not only do they drive on the “wrong side of the road,” it is blastedly expensive by the standards here in the States.

Our first taste of difference was when we exchanged some greenbacks for pounds at the Pittsburgh Airport. It took a buck-fifty to get one pound. An all-day ticket for a London tour bus (called a “ho ho,” short for hop on hop off) was 28 pounds per person. That equates to about $41. A traditional breakfast, for two people, like one might get at one of our chain restaurants (eggs, bacon, hash browns and coffee) for $20, would cost about $40 in London.

While we saw some expensive cars like Mercedes Benz, we saw very few, if any, pickup trucks and SUVs. There was no wonder why when one does the conversion of cost per liter to cost per gallon of gasoline. They are paying around one pound and fifty pence per liter. There are 3.8 liters per gallon. That calculates to about $5.66 per gallon. That explains all the tiny cars and motor scooters on the streets. Folks in London seemed very comfortable riding their bicycles around town and through traffic.

If a Coke were ordered it came in one of those small glass bottles which used to be common here. The Coke would cost the equivalent of $4. There were no free refills. Another Coke would be another $4. Only in some of the thruway convenience stores did one find our ubiquitous plastic bottles. In the pubs draft beer had to be pumped up rather than being CO₂ pressure fed. Beer is served either at cellar or room temperature, so were the Cokes, though you could get ice for the Coke.

We did see a portend for many of our church buildings. In England, Ireland and Scotland, church buildings large and small were standing empty, allowed to fall in on itself, or were converted into other uses such as museums and housing. It did not matter if the buildings were Catholic, Protestant (Lutheran) or Presbyterian. Upon returning home, I found an email from a friend in another presbytery asking if I knew of any grants to help replace an aged and failed furnace. I drove past a church in the borough of Indiana and once again saw masonry work being done to the outside of the building. I am afraid our aging building will either have to be maintained at great expense, re-purposed, or allowed to collapse.

           When I traveled in Rwanda, I gained a new appreciation for our life in the States. In the British Isles, I came away with a similar, but different appreciation. I am more and more convinced that unless we travel outside our own valley villages and towns, even just here in the States, our vision will be forever limited to “the way it has always been.”

Lean Years and God's Grace

I am so very glad I am at this place in life rather than starting life and ministry with a young family. Everything seems very expensive and young families seem to be in deep educational and living debt. I wonder how young families make it, especially in small towns or rural areas where secondary or spousal jobs are so very hard to find.

I have to remind myself I have been there. My wife, Nancy, and I got married between our freshman and sophomore years in college. Yeah, probably not the smartest thing, but we were in love. We were not pregnant. There were some, shall I say, family issues which seemed to have forced our decision. We were both committed to completing our college education. Thanks be to God and to some very caring people, we both were able to  graduate on time with very little educational debt. I am still amazed that we did it and how we did it.

By God’s grace we were off to Louisville Presbyterian Seminary. I was blessed to be able to begin a field education assignment, with a small stipend and an apartment, immediately upon college graduation and before seminary classes began. It was a position I was able to stay in for two years. Once again, we were blessed with Nancy getting a teaching position in Louisville to begin in the fall. Thanks to Nancy getting her PHT (putting hubby through), my field work, me driving a school bus for two years, and a benevolent Dean of Students, I graduated from seminary with no financial debt. Please do not misunderstand me. I am not bragging, but basking in awestruck wonder at God’s providential grace.

After seminary life began to get real. We had left the womb of college and seminary. We arrived at my first call with an infant son. I think the terms of my first call were in the neighborhood of $9,000. Yes, gasoline was about 40 cent/gallon, but milk was about $1.15/gallon. Nancy was not working. Reality could no longer be avoided.

As the years went on bills began to accumulate. We had a second child, a daughter. There was a time when we kept transferring credit card debt from one card to another just to keep from defaulting. Even though Nancy had a teaching job at various stages in my second, third and fourth calls we were barely keeping our heads above water. During those times we did not feel we could save any money. We cashed out the small retirement accounts Nancy earned from her teaching with each move to a new call. Thankfully, each call included a manse. However, we discovered each move had hidden costs to us in the neighborhood of a couple thousand dollars.

I wish we would have had the opportunity to have taken one of the Board of Pensions financial fitness workshops and would have had the courage to follow their advice. In our younger days we gave no thought to such things as long term care insurance. Now, the sticker shock of its cost is stunning, if we can even get it. To have purchased LTC when we were in our thirties would have been so much more affordable. To have put a small amount into a retirement saving account would have added up to a nice supplement to pension and social security income.

Yes, I worry about young couples just starting in ministry with massive educational debt. I worry as I see churches selling their manse, especially in small towns and rural areas. If a house can be found to purchase, the question is will it be possible to sell it after a few years? I worry as I see fewer and fewer positions available for first call pastors. Associate positions are being eliminated and fewer congregations can afford a full-time pastor.

I pray God’s providence will be poured out in abundance on those just entering ministry. Even though we went through lean years, it was by God’s grace we have reached this point in life. Thanks be to God!

We Have A Prince

Well, well, Kate had a boy. It seems the media has been obsessed with the Royal pregnancy. There are so many news organizations gather outside the hospital one wonders if there are any left to cover other stories, not only in the Commonwealth but any place else in the world. Not that long ago, I can remember Brits questioning the value of maintaining the monarchy. I found a 2012 blog on the cost of the monarchy. http://relentlesslife.wordpress.com/2012/04/15/the-true-cost-of-the-royal-family-explained/  At today’s conversion rate (1:1.54), the cost is in the neighborhood of $61.5 million USD. It works out to about 70 pence per Brit per year.

The blog goes on to compare the economic cost/benefit of the monarchy. It seems King George III got into a bit of financial embarrassment. The rental from his lands did not produce enough to pay his bills. He made a deal with Parliament. Parliament would receive the income from his lands in return for a fixed annual income and the absorption of his debts. Since then every royal family has had the same deal. The blog states, The cost to maintain the royal family today is £40 million pounds per year as we mentioned before. But the revenue paid to the UK from the Royal lands is 200 million. So £200 million in revenue subtract £40 million in salary costs equals £160 million pounds in profit. That’s right: The Great Britain earns 160 million pounds in profit, every year from the Royal Family. That is a very good cost/benefit ratio. The blog goes on to point out the income to the Commonwealth does not count the amount paid by tourists.

One reporter pointed out the birth of the new Prince insures the continuity of the monarchy into the 22^nd Century. No wonder folks in England are excited. The continuation of the monarchy means keeping taxes down and Yanks traversing the Pond to boost the economy. Another website reports (http://www.today.com/news/11-interesting-facts-about-duchess-kates-royal-baby-6C10703523), Economists say the royal baby will inject £240 million ($380 million) into the U.K. economy. That figure is based on people buying food and drinks for celebrations at home and in restaurants or pubs, as well as purchases and exports of souvenirs and memorabilia, toys, books and media, according to the Centre for Retail Research.

I remember, as a kid, watching the adventures of Bonnie Prince Charles on the Mickey Mouse Club. I thought it cool that he and I are about the same age. Sadly, over the years, the only thing we have in common is we have both lost about the same amount of hair from our heads.

There was no international press corps congregated outside the birth place of another Prince over 2,000 years ago. There was no town crier proclaiming the birth, only a host of angels had that role. Once people saw themselves as vassals of a sovereign god, the birth of the Prince revealed a new status for humanity as siblings of the Prince of Peace.

As a pastor, I soon learned that Advent and Christmas are not the times to challenge the cultural prostitution of the annual celebration of the birth of our true Prince. Having a few merchants in the congregation is was not in good taste to ask, “What is a merchant’s favorite hymn on Christmas Eve? Answer: What a Friend We Have in Jesus.”

I was glad to see the Vacation Church School at the Sligo Presbyterian Church celebrating Christmas in July. Perhaps, separated from the usual seasonal trappings the joyous news, Mary Give Birth to a Prince, could truly be heard. Maybe it was more about the amazing gift we have received in Jesus than the number and expense of the temporal gifts we are given ostensibly from the Fat Man from the North.

Congratulations to Kate and William on the birth of the Prince of Cambridge. Thanks be to God for the birth of Jesus, Prince of Peace, Lord and Savior!

Washing Windows # 2

What was I saying about liking to wash windows? After a successful completion of the windows on Tuesday, I decided to do the windows in the living room/dining room. The inside windows were easily done in the same procedure as on Tuesday. The outside of the windows are another story, literally.

Counting from the ground level these windows are on the second story of our house. The garage entrance is directly below these windows. In the past I would haul our aluminum extension ladder (why didn’t I buy a fiber glass one?) around from its storage at the other end of the house. Setting up that ladder is tricky so as not to have it crash through one of the window panels I was to wash. The window is an angled five section bay window. Each panel is 2 feet wide and a little over 4 feet in length.

This year, Nancy bought me an extension pole with a sponge and squeegee on the head. I pulled off the protective plastic from the pole and the head. Sigh, the head was not constructed properly and the sponge was not tightly held in place. About 15 minutes of work with pliers, trying to re-crimp the teeth into place to hold the sponge, proved futile. Okay, I have another but smaller head to screw onto the extension pole. Drats! The thread on the pole is larger than the inside thread on the head. Okay, a couple of threads would be enough to hold the head onto the pole, but don’t force it and ruin both.

Now outside and extend the pole to full length. Drats, again! The pole is about 18’ too short. Okay, I have another short pole. I will just fasten it to the long pole and we’re in business. Where is my roll of duct tape? Several wraps and the two poles are attached. However, it is too flimsy and now I cannot apply the proper pressure on the squeegee. Drag out a rickety 6’ wooden step ladder. That gets me high enough, but I cannot get the right angle either to wash the windows nor squeegee them clean.

There is only one solution left. Yep, drag out the extension ladder and wrestle it around. The windows are finally done and look a lot better.

Sometimes what appear to be easy solutions do not work; use a lot of valuable time; and leave us frustrated. What worked yesterday may not work today. There are times when doing things the “hard way” is the only way. How many times do we experience this in ministry? Context is everything. Last year’s budget, bulletin, vacation bible school curriculum, elder training or website just doesn’t work this year. Neither we nor those we serve are the same this year as last year. Pulling out a sermon we used in seminary or in a previous parish for the same lectionary text seems so much easier than working through the arduous task of writing a new sermon. Re-running last year’s budget does not take into consideration the changing context of the congregation.

I could have finished the windows in much less time and gotten out of the heat a lot sooner if I had just gone through the harder work of dragging and wrestling that extension ladder.