I wish I had
had a coach in my early years of ministry. If I had had a coach I might have
avoided issues which led to unhappy endings to a succession of calls. Oh, I
give thanks for executive and associate presbyters who helped in the relocation
processes. But none ever pressed me to look into myself and ask the tough
growth questions. I give thanks for a couple very supportive elders in those
early years and who were encouraging. I knew they had my back. They all were
helpful. What would have been more helpful would have been a person outside of
my particular situation and outside of my presbytery who would have been a
guide in taking an honest and fearless assessment of my behaviors. I am not
talking about therapy (although I probably would have benefited from that
also).
My first call
ended poorly after about eighteen months. I was engaged as an assistant pastor
with responsibilities in Christian Education and social ministry. We were
having some budget pressures. I didn’t feel the amount budgeted for Christian
education was sufficient. In a conversation with the leader of Women of the
Church, I was very clear about my disappointment with the proposed budget
figure. She told the head of staff. I can see now that my expression of
disappointment was received by the head of staff as subversive. He and I had a
tense conversation with his invitation and my intent to relocate as quickly as
possible. A coach would have been helpful for me to see other means and places
to voice my concerns.
My second
call was to two congregations. One was in a small village and the other was in an
open farming area of the county. I know now they felt pushed by me to be much
more programmatic and they wanted somebody just to walk with them. A coach
would have helped me to see the difference before it was too late. After three
years, with the third year being very tense, I sought relocation.
My third
call was to an area near St. Louis where suburbanization was rapidly expanding.
What had been a rather staid country congregation which, years before was the
result of a three congregation merger, was now facing an influx of new people
and new ideas. For about the first five years things went fairly well. There
were some rough spots, but we lived through them. If I had had a coach I could
have had significant growth through those rough spots. The sixth and seventh
years were really rocky. Turnover in the membership was rapid as job transfers
and disaffection took their toll. In one fourteen month period we rotated
fifteen people on and off a session of twelve. An elder could only serve one
three year term and then had to be off the session for a year. The year before,
we had finished a twelve month mission study. With the rapid turnover I was practically
the only one with a commitment to the goals which came out of the mission
study. A coach could have helped me deal with things much more effectively.
It took me
three distressing endings to calls, before I finally was able, in my fourth
congregational call, to begin to get some handles on being a more faithful and
effective pastor, still there were rough spots to be lived through. In my fifth
call, to presbytery service, which lasted twenty-three years, there were still
many situations which could have been handled better with the help of a coach.
