Dark Days

Anybody who is serving, or has served, as a pastor of a congregation, and who is honest with themselves and others, will admit there are dark days in that service. I just finished reading this article on FaceBook http://thomrainer.com/2015/02/25/ten-joy-stealers-ministry-get-back/. The author, Thom S. Rainer, provides a “joy stealer” list which, from personal experience and the observation of many ministers in my roles of serving on Committees on Ministry and as a General Presbyter, is right on target.

The issue is not whether there will be dark days in ministry. The issue is how we handle them. A periodic dark day occasioned by one of the things on Rainer’s list is to be expected. Not everybody will see or react to us in all our saintly wonderfulness. Some of the great ideas we have had will not always produce the amazing results we had hoped for. Not every sermon will move people to ecstatic expressions or spiritual growth. Not every meeting of the session (church governing board) will be filled with praise for our ministry. While the things on Rainer’s list hurt they are not necessarily a mortal wound. However, we all know a paper cut can hurt as much as a cut which needs stitches.

Both as a pastor and as a general presbyter, there were times when the dark days stretched into dark weeks. Sometimes it was possible to just gut through them myself. Sometimes Rainer’s prescriptions worked. Sometimes it helped to sit with a colleague and pour out my heart to one I knew would understand. Other times it was necessary to seek medicinal or therapeutic assistance. Trying to self-medicate with alcohol, drugs, or negative behaviors of acting out only makes matters worse. There is nothing wrong in seeking help when dark days start adding up and weighing us down. There is nothing wrong in storming the Mercy Seat, beating upon the chest of God, and unloading our lament. God is big enough, graceful and merciful enough to withstand, even to welcome, our onslaught.

I have counseled several ministers and have had to remind myself, never resign on Monday or the day after a session (church board) meeting. Those are two of our most vulnerable times.  The old advice of “count to ten before you do anything” is applicable. One can only resign once. It is not something which can be taken back. It is like saying to our spouse, “I want a divorce,” and then trying to say the declaration was not meant seriously or was only spoken in a moment of anger. Once the wedge is driven into a log the splitting cannot be stopped.

My best counsel is do not let the dark days pile up before seeking help. Seek out somebody who stands outside of your immediate family and congregation. Risk being open and vulnerable to another. A drowning person cannot pull themself out of the lake. An outstretched hand, a listening ear, from another who has felt their own dark days may be all that is needed to bring light into our life and ministry.

Tithing Our Time

One of my favorite songs is “Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is,” by Chicago on their first album in the early 1980’s. (Click the URL and listen) I know, for some readers, the 80s is reaching back before memories began. Another, more recent, song about time is from the musical Rent “Seasons of Love.” (Click the URL for the Lyrics and song.) It begins with an enumeration of the minutes in a year, Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes How do you measure, measure a year?

For years I have said my motto is “Today is the first day of the rest of my life, and today might be the last day of my life. It must be lived with faithfulness and intensity.” When Jesus was asked about when will the Son of Man will come? He responded, But about that day and hour no one knows, neither the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. (Mt 24.36 NRSV)

Today we are never far from a time piece be it a watch, a clock or our ever present digital devices. In many churches a clock is hung on the back wall so the time is ever before the minister. I once served a congregation which wanted the worship service at 11:55 so they could beat the Methodists to the restaurants. In western Pennsylvania, during football season, nothing can intrude on the time the Steelers’ game is to begin.

I was recently in a discussion with the participants in the polity class I am teaching for the Commissioned Ruling Elder program done in cooperation with Pittsburgh Presbyterian Seminary and the Synod of the Trinity. The discussion centered on the length of Session meetings. They reminded me that many elders want the session meeting to be finished in an hour or less.

While I believe many meetings can become too long, I am more concerned about the content of the meeting than its length. If the Session is merely a board of directors then a pro forma meeting might be sufficient. However, if the Session is a gathering of elders who are concerned not only with the temporal/organizational matters of the congregation things might take a bit longer.

What if the Session meeting were to include a real devotional time rather than a brief opening prayer? What if some time were taken to build upon and support the fellowship among the session members? What if some time were taken to study and discuss portions of the Book of Confessions and/or the Book of Order? What if time were taken to study and discussion issues before the church and/or community? What if the Session were to trust its committees rather than functioning as a committee of the whole and reworking every recommendation from its committees?

The drive to get in and get out of a session meeting in an hour or less may indicate that time is more important to us than faithfully carrying out our responsibilities as elders. It is the same drive which calls for Sunday morning worship to last no more than an hour.

We only have the time which God has given us. Each day has 1,440 minutes. What if we were to tithe our time each day? That would be 2.4 hours given in service to God. Service to God does not mean it all has to be directly related to "church work." We are called to love God and our neighbors. What difference could we make in our life, in the life of our family, in the life of our congregation, in the life of our community, in the world if we were to intentionally use that 2.4 hours intentionally fulfilling those two prime directives? (Yes that is a Star Trek reference.)