Locking Horns

This morning I received an advertisement for a DVD series called Betrayed: The Clergy Killer's DNA. I did view the trailer. I doubt I will purchase the series. I was reminder of the book written by G. Lloyd Rediger in 1997 entitled, Clergy Killers: Guidance for Pastors and Congregations under Attack. Stories abound in ministerial circles of how just a few people in a congregation can raise such a fuss the pastoral relationship comes to an involuntary termination, or enough time is bought for the pastor to relocate.

The smaller the congregation the more power can be exercised by a very small group of disgruntled members. Sometimes all it takes is one buck elder, or matriarch, to bring a pastor to their knees not in prayer but crushed beneath the scathing attacks and vicious rumors. Of course, the church bullies cloak the accusations behind the invisible “They.” “They said….” They don’t like….” “They’ll leave if….” When pressed for the names of the “they,” the response is most often, “Well, I can’t say ‘they’ told me in confidence.”

At times the clash between the pastor and the buck elder (male or female) can be so loud and frightening others of the flock to run for cover seeking safety in their silence and in their absence. The irresistible force meets the immovable object. Many a young pastor has been warned, “Don’t lock horns with Elder Jones.” In numerous cases, Elder Jones has far more experience in taking on and taking down pastors than the pastor will have had in dealing with Elder Jones.

A few years ago, the US Army used the recruiting slogan “Be an Army of One.” Even the best trained and armed Ranger or Navy Seal knows they are not “an Army of One.” So too, in the face of adversity a pastor cannot effectively deal with the “clergy killers” single handedly. In one of the family systems courses I had, the advice was “mobilize the bystanders.” Who are the bystanders? They are the other elders and leaders of the congregation, who may be afraid to standup to Elder Jones alone, but might find courage together. They may be members with untapped influence. They are the ones who say to you privately, “I am sorry Elder Jones is causing so much trouble for you.” Mobilizing the bystanders means building them up and encouraging them to speak up when they see Elder Jones behaving badly. It is one thing for the pastor to call out Elder Jones, and quite something else for a fellow member to name the bad behavior. Ultimately, following Matthew 18:15-17, naming the behavior publicly.

In some ecclesiastical systems the pastor can call for help from the presbytery, synod, conference or district. It is a political reality, however, that even for them the pastor ultimately is the easiest changeable factor in the equation. I know of only one situation, after three or four involuntary terminations of pastors, in a relativity short span of time, that the presbytery said, “Enough,” and closed a small congregation.

“Clergy Killers” live on because the system allows them to. Very few “clergy killers” really do not like ministers. They are more often motivated by needs for power and control. They fear losing their power, control, and influence within the congregation to the new and inexperienced minister. The more the pastor resists the buck elder the more Elder Jones has to prove he/she is the one in charge.

So what is one to do when faced with a clergy killer? First, do not engage in the battle. Second, if you must engage do not do it alone. Third, follow the advice of Scripture. Romans 12:14, 19-21

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. … Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord. But if your enemy is hungry feed them and if they are thirsty, give them a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on their head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.