Polarity Management

Several years ago, I attended a continuing education event led by Speed Leas and Barry Johnson. The workshop was on polarity management. Barry was working on the concepts now incorporated into his book Polarity Management: Identifying and Managing Unsolvable Problems. Is that not a great title? It does not deal with solving unsolvable problems, but with identifying and managing unsolvable problems. No miracles promised in that title!

In our congregations, presbyteries, synods and the General Assembly we are faced with constant polarities which we try to solve with “yes – no” votes. A decision is made, sometimes by the narrowest of margins, but the “problem” has not been solved. Folks are still lined up on opposite sides of the “problem.” I wonder what it would look like if we tried to deal with fewer “problems” at any one meeting and applied Johnson’s polarity management as a tool for our discernment.

Johnson posits that each side of a polarity has an upside and a downside. He uses a square divided into four quadrants. Side A identifies the potential upsides of their position. Side B identifies the potential upsides of their position. Side A identifies the potential downsides of Side B. Side B identifies the potential downsides of Side A. The question for both sides is, “What must happen so we gain as much of the two potential upsides and avoid the potential downsides?” I must admit this paragraph has not even scratched the surface of Johnson’s work.

It seems to me, in applying polarity management, it is necessary for each side to acknowledge the potential upsides of the other position. I know, in the heat of our battles that is very hard to do. When emotions escalate the ability of the mind to reason decreases in direct proportion to the emotional escalation. When we think we are the sole possessors of the truth, it is impossible to acknowledge truth on the other side. It is interesting that in the Book of Order (F-3.0105) it states, we also believe that there are truths and forms with respect to which men of good characters and principles may differ. And in all these we think it the duty both of private Christians and societies to exercise mutual forbearance toward each other.

In doing a Google search for the definition of forbearance (patient self-control; restraint and tolerance,) I found a graph depicting the use of the word over time from about 1800 to 2010. Usage of the word peaked in about 1825. Usage has since been decreasing to reach the lowest level in our present time. There is no indication of the correlation of the word being used and being forbearing in behavior. However, it seems we are not very forbearing in the incivility of our era. We are so damned convinced of our rightness, we cannot see the potential rightness of another. So we divide away from those we are convinced are wrong.

If we have a 12 inch long magnet it will have a north and a south pole. If we cut that magnet in half, each half will have a north and south pole. If we cut the two halves each of the pieces will have a north and south pole, ad infinitum. So it becomes when congregations or denominations divide. In a relatively short period of time, a polarity will develop among those who thought they were all “like minded.”

Johnson’s polarity management requires enough forbearance to even consider the possibility that the other side might have some potential upsides. I doubt the Kingdom would suddenly burst forth if we applied polarity management in our discernment for ways forward with our unsolvable problems, but what would be upside of trying?

Pastor Appreciation Day/Month

October has been proclaimed Clergy Appreciation Month. I asked myself who and by what authority was that proclamation made? A quick search of the Internet yielded three different answers.

“In 1992, layperson Jerry Frear, Jr., was brainstorming with church colleagues about how they might be of help to their minister when he glanced at a calendar and noticed that it was almost Groundhog Day. ‘I thought, if they have a day for groundhogs, there ought to be a day for the 375,000 clergy people in America.’ Frear says. So…for the last seven years the second Sunday in October has been set aside to show appreciation for our clergy.” (Sept./Oct. 1996 issue of the Saturday Evening Post related the origins of Clergy Appreciation Day.) {http://snowdenwiththefam-daneille.blogspot.com/2012/09/pastors-appreciation-day.html}

Started by Hallmark Cards in 1992, the officially-named Clergy Appreciation National Day of Honoring is usually called Pastor or Clergy Appreciation Day. It falls on the second Sunday of October each year and is sometimes promoted as a month-long time to remember and honor the work of Christian clergy. (http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-pastor-appreciation-day.htm#didyouknowout)

Focus on the Family named and began emphasizing Clergy Appreciation Month in 1994, reminding congregations that it was biblical and proper to honor their pastoral staffs and pastoral families throughout the year, but suggesting that they set aside the month of October for a special tangible tribute. (http://www.thrivingpastor.com/clergyappreciation/)

I am not going to try to decide which answer is correct. I do believe Hallmark will look for any reason to sell more “greeting cards.” There are several sites which give suggestions for observing CAM, and several more willing to sell trinkets to give to the minister. Every minister wants another appreciation plaque to hang on the wall, or ballpoint pen engraved with the minister’s name engraved on it. (I never found that prevented losing the pen and never having it returned).

I do know the kind of things which eat at a pastor’s innards, things which wear pastors down, things which make pastors weep. Some of them are: conflict in the congregation, attacks on the minister because of an unpopular sermon, gossiping about the pastor in the community, a general lack of respect, budget deficiencies, balancing the budget with no increase in pastoral compensation, gossiping about the pastor’s spouse and children, demanding 365/24/7 availability of the pastor and the list can go on and on.

There are some biblical injunctions about how to truly show pastoral appreciation.

Hebrews 13:17   New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)

17 Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls and will give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with sighing—for that would be harmful to you.

  

1 Thessalonians 5:12-13   New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)

12 But we appeal to you, brothers and sisters, to respect those who labor among you, and have charge of you in the Lord and admonish you; 13 esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.

If congregations really want to show their minister/priest/rabbi/imam appreciation try living out the advice of these Scriptural passages. The congregation members will be the ones who will receive the greatest benefit.

Coaching and Pastoral Retention

In season 4 episode 5 of The Voice, the musical artist Usher stated, “Being a coach on The Voice is to make an investment in people.”¹ Coaching is a self-investment by the minister and an investment by the coach in the minister. When congregations and presbyteries encourage pastors to have a coach -- and to help fund the coaching costs -- they are making an investment in the minister. Through this multi-level investment, coaching has the potential for lengthening pastoral tenure and stemming the attrition rate of those in the early years of pastoral ministry.

Every minister can benefit by having a ministry coach, especially those in their early years of serving a congregation. It does not matter whether one has taken the path from high school to college to seminary to first call, or is a second career pastor. Serving a congregation is different than anything done before. Pastoral ministry is an art learned best through intentional reflection on one’s ministry.

Coaching is not therapy dealing with issues from the minister's past. Coaching is not a consultation seeking answers to problems from an outside agent. Coaching is not mentoring, being guided in practices and procedures by a seasoned minister. Coaching begins with the conviction that the minister is whole, resourceful and creative. Coaching draws upon the minister's gifts, skills, knowledge, insights and wisdom to establish future oriented goals addressing personal and ministry oriented issues, and developing concrete steps to realize the fulfillment of the goals. Coaching focuses on the minister not the ministry context. The coach maintains a strict standard of confidentiality. Unless it is part of the coaching contract, the coach does not report to the session or to the presbytery about the person being coached or the coaching content.

No pastor goes into their first, or any successive, call expecting it to be short-term. Coaching helps the pastor avoid the short-term call syndrome by:

Ø  Providing a safe arena for intentional reflection on the practice of ministry

Ø  Clarifying one’s role as a pastor

Ø  Dealing with multiple expectations from congregation members

Ø  Sorting the important from the urgent

Ø  Gaining perspective and avoiding blind spots in ministry

Ø  Dealing constructively with conflict

Ø  Handling frustration, failure and anger

Ø  Being a less anxious presence in a highly anxious situation

A Google search for “why pastors quit” reveals a multitude of articles listing reasons for and statistics on the startling attrition of ministers across the theological spectrum.

A frightening number of ministers face dissolution of their call within the first five years. An alarming number of ministers become disillusioned and leave ministry in the first five years. Duke University, Alban Institute and Fuller Seminary have produced studies which indicate a dropout rate of ministers in the first five years ranging from fifty percent to eighty-five percent². In today’s church environment very few will remain in ministry from ordination to retirement.

Secular employers know it is less expensive to retain an employee than constantly training new employees. On the Presbyterian Mission Agency website, it states, It costs your Presbyterian seminaries an average $109,000 to educate a Master of Divinity student for three years.³

That is a significant investment by the individual and by seminary benefactors. Short term pastorates are harmful to congregations⁴, and disheartening to ministers.

In 2004, the Board of Pensions produced a report on clergy recruitment and retention⁵. In 2006, the Board produced another study on mid-career ministers. Both studies raised the concern of attrition in the first years of pastoral service. The 2006 report stated,

In the first cohort, less than five years of service, there has been an increase in each of the years 2002-2005 of those leaving. This increase is reflected in both female and male clergy and closer analysis of the data indicates it applies to both first and second career clergy. The Comparative Statistics report produced by Research Services of the PCUSA indicates that in the years 2002-2005 there have been a total of 1,360 ordinations with an average of 340 per year. The Board of Pensions data indicates that in the same time frame 402 ministers have left and this represents an average of 100 per year. Thus, in raw percentages we are losing around 30% of those being ordained within the first five years of their ministry. It has been rightly pointed out that other professions have a higher rate of “dropout” in the early years. Nonetheless the number leaving each year continues to increase. Can we as a denomination be complacent when 30% of the newly ordained are leaving within five years⁶?

The 2004 report identified three primary contributors to the attrition: stress, conflict, and burnout. Ministers, whether new to ministry or with several years of experience, are hesitant to go to colleagues or mid-council staff with their frustrations or unfulfilled dreams. Nobody likes to admit they are having difficulties or are deeply discouraged in their present call.  Due to the referencing function of presbytery executive staff and the stigma of contacting those who fill the role of the Committee on Ministry, ministers are reluctant to seek help from them. It is unwise for ministers to bare the burdens one’s soul to congregants. The minister is left with few options other than to internalize. Internalized difficulties and unfulfilled dreams are the seedbeds for weed like growth of the contributors to attrition. A coach can help the minister and increase the potential for lengthening pastoral tenure and lessening pastoral attrition.

Coaching and having a coach is an investment worth making in the minister and the congregation(s) they serve.

https://wayostccs.com/

1.      Zayda Rivera, April 9, 2013 http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/channel-surfer/2013/04/the-voice-season-4-episode-5-recap-usher-shakira-starting-to-hold-own-as-new-

2.      Keeping Your Pastor: An Emerging Challenge, Kristin Stewart, Oakland City University 2009. http://www.oak.edu/~oakedu/assets/ck/files/Stewart+(SU+09).pdf

3.      Short-term Pastorates, Arnold Kurtz, January, 1980. https://www.ministrymagazine.org/archive/1980/01/short-term-pastorates

4.      http://www.presbyterianmission.org/ministries/seminaries/students/

5.      Report on Clergy Recruitment and Retention (2004)

http://www.pensions.org/AvailableResources/BookletsandPublications/Documents/pub-500.pd

6.      Supporting Mid-Career Pastors of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) (2006)

http://www.pensions.org/AvailableResources/BookletsandPublications/Documents/pub-501.pdf‎

Go, Get the Hell Out, Settle Down, Come, Be Sent

I was recently talking with a colleague about their sense of call. Was God calling them to a new place; telling them to settle down in their present location; or to come to a new sense of call.

As we talked several different biblical stories came to mind. The first was Genesis 12:1. The command is “go.” The second was Exodus 12:31-32. Pharaoh told Moses and the Israelites to “get the hell out of here.” The third was Jeremiah’s counsel to the Israelites in captivity (Jeremiah 29:4-7). They are told to settle down, “to bloom where they were planted.” The fourth was Jesus’ call to disciples, “Come, follow me” (Matthew 4:19). One which just came to my mind is “I am sending you out…” (Mathew 10:16). Of course, the big on is “Go, make disciples….” (Matthew 28:19).

It is interesting, as I juxtapose those directions, to ask the question am I being called to go, to settle down where I am, to get the hell out of here, to come, or to be sent. At one time or another, every minister has struggle to discern God’s call. In a time when there are fewer fulltime pastoral positions those who are seeking a first call sometimes wait months, if not years, for that first call to become a reality. It sure is not like it was when I graduate from seminary in 1973. Then there were more congregations looking for a pastor than those seeking calls.

In midlife there are a few things which tend to encourage ministers to settle down. A mortgage, an employed spouse and children in school tend to make either going, coming or being sent difficult to do. Even with a slightly improved housing market there is no guarantee of being able to sell the house for enough to pay off the mortgage and have some money left for a down payment on a home in a new location. There is no guarantee that a spouse will be able to secure a comparable position in a new location. As the children get older and more ensconced in schools activities, it is hold to pluck them up by the roots and hope they will thrive in a new school.

It seems every congregation which is looking for a pastor does not want somebody without experience or who is looking at retirement in the next ten years or so. It can be really difficult for ministers to relocate after they are 55 years old. That is strange because they have had years of experience and gained in wisdom. There is no reason for congregations to assume a younger pastor will attract younger members. Young families do not need a pastor who is their peer. In my younger years, I served a congregation which was growing with younger families. I did not have enough maturity to really provide wise counsel for them. We fought like siblings. It reached a point where we were so embroiled in conflict that I had to leave.

Discerning our calls today is a significant endeavor. Are we to go, to settle down, to get the hell out, or are we being sent? There not a singular biblical options. There is not a singular option which applies to everybody all the time. How can we be faithful disciples in answering God’s call upon our life? Where does our personal context influence how we hear and respond to God’s call? At one time, Presbyterians spoke of permanent and temporary calls. A permanent call carried the implication that the pastor and congregation would be bound to one another, and not seeking after another. Now, all calls seem to be temporary.

What are we to do? Go? Get the hell out? Settle down? Come? Be sent? Probably somewhere in the course of our pastoral service we will experience them all.

What Do Goldilocks, Temperature, and Revelation 3:15-16 have in common?

Many of us remember the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. The chairs were too big or too small. The soup was too hot or too cold. The beds were too hard or too soft. Eventually, she discovered one of each which was “just right.”

This morning on the Today Show the hosts were commenting about the unusually cool summer this has been in many locations. The complaint was we have not had enough weather with ninety degree temperatures, particularly in the Midwest and Eastern regions. Last winter the complaint was about unusually cold winter in the same regions. One woman complained that this year’s public swimming pool pass was really expensive compared to the number of times the weather was warm enough to go swimming.

A common complaint in many congregations is the temperature in the worship area is either too hot or too cool. Both complaints can be heard from different people on the same Sunday. One creative pastor installed a new thermostat conspicuously located in the worship area. Members would be free to set the temperature at whatever level they wanted. Those who were too hot could turn it down. Those who were to cool could turn it up. After adjusting the temperature setting neither those too cool nor too hot complained. Most felt the temperature was “just right.” What the membership was not told the thermostat was non-functional.

Revelation 3:15-16 is addressed to a particular congregation, Laodicea, but it can be attributed to many congregations, today. ¹⁵ “I know your works; you are neither cold nor hot. I wish that you were either cold or hot. ¹⁶ So, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” Out of fear of offending; in an effort to avoid conflict; in an attempt to keep everybody happy, many congregations can be considered lukewarm. Generally, as pastors, we say we wish they were either hot or cold. The truth be told, we are just as happy if they are lukewarm.

A lukewarm congregation is pretty easy to serve. Sermons do not have to be challenging nor addressing any controversial topics. As long as just enough money comes in to fund this year’s budget there is no need for an assertive stewardship emphasis throughout the year. Contributing to the local food and clothing pantry lets us off the hook from addressing the real causes and issues of poverty in our community. The members may be spiritually bankrupt and biblically illiterate, but as long as worship attendance it at a decent level we can assume they are being fed.

Lukewarm congregations are an indictment of us as pastors. We encourage lukewarm congregations by being lukewarm ourselves. Do we have any passion for evangelism, for social justice, for the spiritual development of the people we are called to serve? I admit, as a pastor and as a presbytery executive, I was just as happy when the congregations and presbytery I served were lukewarm. They were easier to serve; there was less conflict; there were fewer "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" being hurled in my direction. It was easier to “keep the peace” than to deal with conflict.

Is being a lukewarm pastor serving a lukewarm congregation faithful?

That Time of Year

This is the time of year when three important activities begin in many congregations. Some are intentionally ahead of the game, but only now do most begin to think about what they will do (if anything) for their stewardship emphasis. Some folks are beginning to think about next year’s budget. Finally, the nominating committee is beginning to think about who might serve on the session, the deacons and the trustees (where that is a separate function).

All three deserve the presence and attention of the teaching elder. The stewardship emphasis needs a solid biblical and theological under pinning. The development of the budget, a very difficult proposition if the stewardship emphasis in previous years has not been strong, needs to represent the core mission and ministry values of the congergation. The nominating committee needs to be kept focused on gifts and skills, rather than warm bodies.

Usually, it is not difficult for the teaching elder to have access to the stewardship committee. The committee will usually want one worship service dedicated to the theme of stewardship. But our emphasis in stewardship is really an emphasis on fund raising when done in conjunction with the budget development. The teaching elder is in a difficult position. It is nearly impossible not to be heard as encouraging increased giving so the minister can get a raise. Also, the fund raising emphasis is done at the wrong time of year.

We are still tied to an agrarian model of waiting until the harvest to be able to determine how much to give to the church. It is also the time of year when people are beginning to worry about paying off the credit cards from the summer vacation, worrying about how much utilities will cost in the coming winter, and how much they might charge on the credit cards for Christmas gifts. It was either Lyle Schaller or Ken Callahan I heard suggest the spring is a better time for fund raising. A well rounded stewardship emphasis, at least, would have worship service every quarter dedicated to the broad topic of stewardship, not just fund raising.

Having access to the budget development process, at times, is a bit more difficult. Some ministers want nothing to do with it. Some committees want the minister to have nothing to do with it. Frequently sessional budgets are developed with the assumption that income will be lower for the next years, so the budget has to be reduced. Some use the pattern of “across the board” reductions. Little thought is given to core mission and ministry values.

It has been said, “If you want to know what is most important to a person, a family, a congregation (and do we dare say to a government?) all you have to do is look at their calendar and their checkbook or credit card statements.” Looking at many church budgets reflect the value of survival. Normally, staff and facility operational costs make up the most of the budget. Programs and mission, especially mission, are among the first to be cut. At one time, it was somewhat popular to develop a challenge budget which would call upon the membership to stretch to support an enhanced or new outreach effort. It seems that has died. The minister may be a lone voice crying in the wilderness, but a vision of God’s abundance and the people’s thankful generosity has to be lifted up.

Finally, to be considered is the nominating process. If a pastor does not sit with the nominating committee, the pastor deserves the other in ordered ministry with whom the will serve. Let’s face it, not everybody in a congregation is gifted or skilled to serve on the session, deacons or trustees. Often we hear, “Sally is a new member, let’s put her on the session.” “Ralph hasn’t been too regular in worship attendance for the last year or so, maybe if he were asked to serve he would be more active.” “You know, Mildred has been a member of this congregation for 25 years and has never been asked to serve, don’t you think it is about time to ask her?” “John is from the King family. For the last fifty years a King has been on the Session. We don’t want to offend them by not having a King in the next class of elders.”

Yes, there are intracongregational political issues which enter the nominating process. How many times do nominating committees ask about the gifts and skill of those who might be nominated? We are too influenced by the idea that the session is the board of directors of the congregation to which people are nominated for political or honorific reasons. The minister can help by asking questions about who has a forward looking vision for the congregation; who has the gift of discernment, peacemaking, or inspiration? Who has a passion for the poor, the ill, the troubled or the hungry? Yes, everybody in the congregation has some gift to be employed for the health and advancement of the congregation. Not everybody in the congregation is gifted to serve on the session, the deacons, or the trustees.

The involvement of the teaching elder, minister, pastor, or whatever the position and person is called is critical in the arenas of stewardship, budgeting and nominating. It is critical not because the person in that position is the CEO of the congregation. That person is the one with the particular responsibility for raising the biblical and theological questions as the processes of stewardship, budgeting and nominating are under way.

Old Sermons and Libraries

What do you do with old sermons? That was a question I faced a year ago when I retired. For more than forty years I had carried from pastorate to pastorate and then to service as an executive presbyter my old sermons. Some were hand written, some produced on a standard typewriter, some on and IBM Selectric, some on a Commodore 64 computer and dot matrix printer, some on an IBM 8088 computer, some on a Tandy “laptop,” some on various generations of computers and programs such as WordPerfect and Word. There was an interesting study in the technological develop of my sermon stockpile.

Very seldom did I go back and “recycle” any of the old sermons. Once in a while, I would go back and look for an illustration or line of thinking related to a particular text. I know, in today’s practice of homiletics using a manuscript is frowned upon, but for the vast majority of my preaching efforts I had a full manuscript on the pulpit. It might have been interesting to do a study on the development of my theology through the use of the old sermons. That would have been a task for somebody else. One of the reasons I did not “recycle” the old sermons is frankly some of them were not worth preaching the first time. A second reason was the situation of myself, individuals, the congregations, the world was different every time the lectionary texts cycled around. A third reason for not recycling the old sermons was I needed to struggle again with the texts.

What then do you do with file drawers full of old sermons which were arranged with dividers for the books of the Bible depending on the primary text for a particular sermon? During my last week in the office, I gathered all the sermons into two large, and almost too heavy, garbage bags. I loaded them in my car; drove to the recycling center; dumped them all in the office paper bin. When I had told others what I had done some gasped in disbelief. “How could you?”

I did much the same with my library which had been a source of comfort and assurance that I was a literate person. Instead of dumping the books in a recycle bin, I carted box upon box to the Catholic Student Center at the nearby university for their annual book sale. I kept a few of the books. One cannot be void of a library of some sort, at least I cannot.

Getting rid of the old sermons and volumes from my library were acts of acknowledging an end to a particular portion of my life. I have not regretted the purging actions. Oh, there are a couple of the books I now wished I had kept, for sentimental reasons, if nothing else.

If I need a sermon, I will write a new one. If I need a book, I can download many to my laptop, iPad or Kindle. When I travel I can take dozens of books with me with the mere weight of the iPad or Kindle. It is all very freeing.