Thrill Chills

Last week I was gathered in a hotel ballroom, in Louisville, KY, with a few hundred church geeks. Most, if not all, of us are serving the church in non-pastoral positions. The vast majority of us are serving in the realm of church administration and polity. In the midst of our time dealing with various degrees of church politics I experienced “thrill chills” on two occasions. Both times came during worship opportunities. Both times, two difference worship services, came as the group was singing the hymn “It Is Well with My Soul.”

We did not have overly amplified instrumental music. We were accompanied by a simple keyboard. We sang from the new Presbyterian Hymnal “Glory to God.” What gave me “thrill chills” was the full-throated harmonic singing I seldom experience in congregational worship. In those moments I could truly say/sing, “It is well with my soul.”

Some time ago I read an article about why people, especially men, don’t sing in church anymore. I did a Google search trying to find that particular article. In my searching I discovered a score of sites addressing the lack of singing in worship. It is a malady I often observe. Time and again I have heard people say one of the reasons they like presbytery, synod and general assembly meetings is the rich full on signing which occurs, especially including the male voices. Often they remark they too had “thrill chills.”

I confess I am not a good singer, but I love to sing in a large group. That way my voice does not stand out from the rest. I do not feel I am signing alone as so often is the experience in worship spaces designed for two hundred with only 50, or fewer, scattered worshipers in attendance. As a pastor, I unsuccessfully fought the battles of trying to get people to cluster together more. For a long time I selected hymns for their words more than their familiarity and singability. After several years I decided it was more important for the congregation to sing a familiar tune with a bit more gusto than to feebly sing an unfamiliar tune which had the right words. I wore out the metrical index to find more familiar tunes to go with the words of unfamiliar hymns.

Karl Barth once said, “There is no finer sound to God’s ears than vox humana.” I cannot give a specific citation for that, but it has stuck with me for many years. One of the heavenly images in Scripture is that of heavenly choirs perpetually signing praise to God. I do not imagine that as a choral presentation. I imagine it as the whole gathering of saints in full-throated harmonic musical praise. I imagine is as a cappella void of praise bands and billowing pipe organs. (Personally, I do love to hear a well-played pipe organ with deep 16’ or 32’ bass pipes rattling the rafters.)

One of the congregations in the presbytery I once served did not have space up front for the choir, as many chancels are arranged. When it was time for the choral offering the people came from the pews to stand in front for their song. The rest of the service they were seated and sang among the rest of the congregation. They led the singing of hymns from among the people rather than separated from the people. (I think there is a general leadership point in that.) Why do we take the best singers from among the people and put them in the choir loft either up front or in back in the balcony?

My prayer is that we could all experience “thrill chills” in the singing of hymns, psalms and spiritual songs during worship.

Demonization and Doomsday

I have made some modest contributions to one of the major political parties. For the last year, especially in the run up to this year’s senatorial elections, I have been inundated with emails and phone calls requesting more contributions. I understand. Political campaigns are expensive. What I have found to be irritating are the demonization of the other party and the doomsday cries. As a result, I have not recently contributed. Their tactics were a real turnoff for me. I got so fed up with the nightly, between 6:00 and 9:00, calls from the fund-raising offices that I told one representative (in very clear language) how disturbing I found the calls and the barrage of daily emails. As he was trying to plead the case for the calls and the emails, I hung up.

It makes me wonder, how many church members have been turned off by our own demonization of others and our doomsday cries? Let me admit there have been times as a pastor and as an executive presbyter when I have guilty of both of these deadly Ds. There have been times when I have negatively characterized those of an opposing stance or action. There were times, especially around the time of budget development for the next year and the annual funding appeals, when I pointed to the worst case scenarios if we don’t raise more money. “We’ll have to lay off some of the staff. We’ll have to seriously consider cutting back to a part-time pastor.” I have heard many others pointing to the gathering dark clouds and shouting of impending disaster.

Sometimes fear can be an appropriate motivator. The problem is there is this story of the boy who cried wolf when there was no wolf. When the wolf did show up and the boy cried wolf, nobody paid any attention. Demonizing others only makes people wonder when the demonization will be turn on them. Rather than risking that they either do not offer an opposing opinion or they just go some other place.

When we read the Epistles, the opening verses are usually praising those to whom the letter was written. Later in the letter there may have been some challenging or scolding language. What if we were to focus on all the positive things the congregation, the presbytery, the denomination are doing and inviting support to do even greater things? What if we were to engage in shared discernment using the tool of polarity management, acknowledging positives of each position and working together to avoid triggering those things we fear (the negatives) of the other pole?

Are people more likely to support flourishing ministry and mission, or a sinking ship? Are people more likely to join with others who are earnestly seeking to resolve differences, or where they are so divided they demonized one another?

For the political campaigns and for the church, tell me your values; tell me about what you have done and plan to do; hold up a realistic, but challenging, vision for the future. I am not interested in hearing about how nasty the others are and how everything will go to hell in a hand basket. Engage me in making a positive difference in the world. And do not just do that at election time, or when we are trying to drum up enough money to fund next year’s budget. It has to be an ongoing and consistent interpretation and engagement.

Avoid the deadly Ds and give thanks to God in all things.

Polarity Management

Several years ago, I attended a continuing education event led by Speed Leas and Barry Johnson. The workshop was on polarity management. Barry was working on the concepts now incorporated into his book Polarity Management: Identifying and Managing Unsolvable Problems. Is that not a great title? It does not deal with solving unsolvable problems, but with identifying and managing unsolvable problems. No miracles promised in that title!

In our congregations, presbyteries, synods and the General Assembly we are faced with constant polarities which we try to solve with “yes – no” votes. A decision is made, sometimes by the narrowest of margins, but the “problem” has not been solved. Folks are still lined up on opposite sides of the “problem.” I wonder what it would look like if we tried to deal with fewer “problems” at any one meeting and applied Johnson’s polarity management as a tool for our discernment.

Johnson posits that each side of a polarity has an upside and a downside. He uses a square divided into four quadrants. Side A identifies the potential upsides of their position. Side B identifies the potential upsides of their position. Side A identifies the potential downsides of Side B. Side B identifies the potential downsides of Side A. The question for both sides is, “What must happen so we gain as much of the two potential upsides and avoid the potential downsides?” I must admit this paragraph has not even scratched the surface of Johnson’s work.

It seems to me, in applying polarity management, it is necessary for each side to acknowledge the potential upsides of the other position. I know, in the heat of our battles that is very hard to do. When emotions escalate the ability of the mind to reason decreases in direct proportion to the emotional escalation. When we think we are the sole possessors of the truth, it is impossible to acknowledge truth on the other side. It is interesting that in the Book of Order (F-3.0105) it states, we also believe that there are truths and forms with respect to which men of good characters and principles may differ. And in all these we think it the duty both of private Christians and societies to exercise mutual forbearance toward each other.

In doing a Google search for the definition of forbearance (patient self-control; restraint and tolerance,) I found a graph depicting the use of the word over time from about 1800 to 2010. Usage of the word peaked in about 1825. Usage has since been decreasing to reach the lowest level in our present time. There is no indication of the correlation of the word being used and being forbearing in behavior. However, it seems we are not very forbearing in the incivility of our era. We are so damned convinced of our rightness, we cannot see the potential rightness of another. So we divide away from those we are convinced are wrong.

If we have a 12 inch long magnet it will have a north and a south pole. If we cut that magnet in half, each half will have a north and south pole. If we cut the two halves each of the pieces will have a north and south pole, ad infinitum. So it becomes when congregations or denominations divide. In a relatively short period of time, a polarity will develop among those who thought they were all “like minded.”

Johnson’s polarity management requires enough forbearance to even consider the possibility that the other side might have some potential upsides. I doubt the Kingdom would suddenly burst forth if we applied polarity management in our discernment for ways forward with our unsolvable problems, but what would be upside of trying?

Pastor Appreciation Day/Month

October has been proclaimed Clergy Appreciation Month. I asked myself who and by what authority was that proclamation made? A quick search of the Internet yielded three different answers.

“In 1992, layperson Jerry Frear, Jr., was brainstorming with church colleagues about how they might be of help to their minister when he glanced at a calendar and noticed that it was almost Groundhog Day. ‘I thought, if they have a day for groundhogs, there ought to be a day for the 375,000 clergy people in America.’ Frear says. So…for the last seven years the second Sunday in October has been set aside to show appreciation for our clergy.” (Sept./Oct. 1996 issue of the Saturday Evening Post related the origins of Clergy Appreciation Day.) {http://snowdenwiththefam-daneille.blogspot.com/2012/09/pastors-appreciation-day.html}

Started by Hallmark Cards in 1992, the officially-named Clergy Appreciation National Day of Honoring is usually called Pastor or Clergy Appreciation Day. It falls on the second Sunday of October each year and is sometimes promoted as a month-long time to remember and honor the work of Christian clergy. (http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-pastor-appreciation-day.htm#didyouknowout)

Focus on the Family named and began emphasizing Clergy Appreciation Month in 1994, reminding congregations that it was biblical and proper to honor their pastoral staffs and pastoral families throughout the year, but suggesting that they set aside the month of October for a special tangible tribute. (http://www.thrivingpastor.com/clergyappreciation/)

I am not going to try to decide which answer is correct. I do believe Hallmark will look for any reason to sell more “greeting cards.” There are several sites which give suggestions for observing CAM, and several more willing to sell trinkets to give to the minister. Every minister wants another appreciation plaque to hang on the wall, or ballpoint pen engraved with the minister’s name engraved on it. (I never found that prevented losing the pen and never having it returned).

I do know the kind of things which eat at a pastor’s innards, things which wear pastors down, things which make pastors weep. Some of them are: conflict in the congregation, attacks on the minister because of an unpopular sermon, gossiping about the pastor in the community, a general lack of respect, budget deficiencies, balancing the budget with no increase in pastoral compensation, gossiping about the pastor’s spouse and children, demanding 365/24/7 availability of the pastor and the list can go on and on.

There are some biblical injunctions about how to truly show pastoral appreciation.

Hebrews 13:17   New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)

17 Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls and will give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with sighing—for that would be harmful to you.

  

1 Thessalonians 5:12-13   New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)

12 But we appeal to you, brothers and sisters, to respect those who labor among you, and have charge of you in the Lord and admonish you; 13 esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.

If congregations really want to show their minister/priest/rabbi/imam appreciation try living out the advice of these Scriptural passages. The congregation members will be the ones who will receive the greatest benefit.

Coaching and Pastoral Retention

In season 4 episode 5 of The Voice, the musical artist Usher stated, “Being a coach on The Voice is to make an investment in people.”¹ Coaching is a self-investment by the minister and an investment by the coach in the minister. When congregations and presbyteries encourage pastors to have a coach -- and to help fund the coaching costs -- they are making an investment in the minister. Through this multi-level investment, coaching has the potential for lengthening pastoral tenure and stemming the attrition rate of those in the early years of pastoral ministry.

Every minister can benefit by having a ministry coach, especially those in their early years of serving a congregation. It does not matter whether one has taken the path from high school to college to seminary to first call, or is a second career pastor. Serving a congregation is different than anything done before. Pastoral ministry is an art learned best through intentional reflection on one’s ministry.

Coaching is not therapy dealing with issues from the minister's past. Coaching is not a consultation seeking answers to problems from an outside agent. Coaching is not mentoring, being guided in practices and procedures by a seasoned minister. Coaching begins with the conviction that the minister is whole, resourceful and creative. Coaching draws upon the minister's gifts, skills, knowledge, insights and wisdom to establish future oriented goals addressing personal and ministry oriented issues, and developing concrete steps to realize the fulfillment of the goals. Coaching focuses on the minister not the ministry context. The coach maintains a strict standard of confidentiality. Unless it is part of the coaching contract, the coach does not report to the session or to the presbytery about the person being coached or the coaching content.

No pastor goes into their first, or any successive, call expecting it to be short-term. Coaching helps the pastor avoid the short-term call syndrome by:

Ø  Providing a safe arena for intentional reflection on the practice of ministry

Ø  Clarifying one’s role as a pastor

Ø  Dealing with multiple expectations from congregation members

Ø  Sorting the important from the urgent

Ø  Gaining perspective and avoiding blind spots in ministry

Ø  Dealing constructively with conflict

Ø  Handling frustration, failure and anger

Ø  Being a less anxious presence in a highly anxious situation

A Google search for “why pastors quit” reveals a multitude of articles listing reasons for and statistics on the startling attrition of ministers across the theological spectrum.

A frightening number of ministers face dissolution of their call within the first five years. An alarming number of ministers become disillusioned and leave ministry in the first five years. Duke University, Alban Institute and Fuller Seminary have produced studies which indicate a dropout rate of ministers in the first five years ranging from fifty percent to eighty-five percent². In today’s church environment very few will remain in ministry from ordination to retirement.

Secular employers know it is less expensive to retain an employee than constantly training new employees. On the Presbyterian Mission Agency website, it states, It costs your Presbyterian seminaries an average $109,000 to educate a Master of Divinity student for three years.³

That is a significant investment by the individual and by seminary benefactors. Short term pastorates are harmful to congregations⁴, and disheartening to ministers.

In 2004, the Board of Pensions produced a report on clergy recruitment and retention⁵. In 2006, the Board produced another study on mid-career ministers. Both studies raised the concern of attrition in the first years of pastoral service. The 2006 report stated,

In the first cohort, less than five years of service, there has been an increase in each of the years 2002-2005 of those leaving. This increase is reflected in both female and male clergy and closer analysis of the data indicates it applies to both first and second career clergy. The Comparative Statistics report produced by Research Services of the PCUSA indicates that in the years 2002-2005 there have been a total of 1,360 ordinations with an average of 340 per year. The Board of Pensions data indicates that in the same time frame 402 ministers have left and this represents an average of 100 per year. Thus, in raw percentages we are losing around 30% of those being ordained within the first five years of their ministry. It has been rightly pointed out that other professions have a higher rate of “dropout” in the early years. Nonetheless the number leaving each year continues to increase. Can we as a denomination be complacent when 30% of the newly ordained are leaving within five years⁶?

The 2004 report identified three primary contributors to the attrition: stress, conflict, and burnout. Ministers, whether new to ministry or with several years of experience, are hesitant to go to colleagues or mid-council staff with their frustrations or unfulfilled dreams. Nobody likes to admit they are having difficulties or are deeply discouraged in their present call.  Due to the referencing function of presbytery executive staff and the stigma of contacting those who fill the role of the Committee on Ministry, ministers are reluctant to seek help from them. It is unwise for ministers to bare the burdens one’s soul to congregants. The minister is left with few options other than to internalize. Internalized difficulties and unfulfilled dreams are the seedbeds for weed like growth of the contributors to attrition. A coach can help the minister and increase the potential for lengthening pastoral tenure and lessening pastoral attrition.

Coaching and having a coach is an investment worth making in the minister and the congregation(s) they serve.

https://wayostccs.com/

1.      Zayda Rivera, April 9, 2013 http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/channel-surfer/2013/04/the-voice-season-4-episode-5-recap-usher-shakira-starting-to-hold-own-as-new-

2.      Keeping Your Pastor: An Emerging Challenge, Kristin Stewart, Oakland City University 2009. http://www.oak.edu/~oakedu/assets/ck/files/Stewart+(SU+09).pdf

3.      Short-term Pastorates, Arnold Kurtz, January, 1980. https://www.ministrymagazine.org/archive/1980/01/short-term-pastorates

4.      http://www.presbyterianmission.org/ministries/seminaries/students/

5.      Report on Clergy Recruitment and Retention (2004)

http://www.pensions.org/AvailableResources/BookletsandPublications/Documents/pub-500.pd

6.      Supporting Mid-Career Pastors of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) (2006)

http://www.pensions.org/AvailableResources/BookletsandPublications/Documents/pub-501.pdf‎

Go, Get the Hell Out, Settle Down, Come, Be Sent

I was recently talking with a colleague about their sense of call. Was God calling them to a new place; telling them to settle down in their present location; or to come to a new sense of call.

As we talked several different biblical stories came to mind. The first was Genesis 12:1. The command is “go.” The second was Exodus 12:31-32. Pharaoh told Moses and the Israelites to “get the hell out of here.” The third was Jeremiah’s counsel to the Israelites in captivity (Jeremiah 29:4-7). They are told to settle down, “to bloom where they were planted.” The fourth was Jesus’ call to disciples, “Come, follow me” (Matthew 4:19). One which just came to my mind is “I am sending you out…” (Mathew 10:16). Of course, the big on is “Go, make disciples….” (Matthew 28:19).

It is interesting, as I juxtapose those directions, to ask the question am I being called to go, to settle down where I am, to get the hell out of here, to come, or to be sent. At one time or another, every minister has struggle to discern God’s call. In a time when there are fewer fulltime pastoral positions those who are seeking a first call sometimes wait months, if not years, for that first call to become a reality. It sure is not like it was when I graduate from seminary in 1973. Then there were more congregations looking for a pastor than those seeking calls.

In midlife there are a few things which tend to encourage ministers to settle down. A mortgage, an employed spouse and children in school tend to make either going, coming or being sent difficult to do. Even with a slightly improved housing market there is no guarantee of being able to sell the house for enough to pay off the mortgage and have some money left for a down payment on a home in a new location. There is no guarantee that a spouse will be able to secure a comparable position in a new location. As the children get older and more ensconced in schools activities, it is hold to pluck them up by the roots and hope they will thrive in a new school.

It seems every congregation which is looking for a pastor does not want somebody without experience or who is looking at retirement in the next ten years or so. It can be really difficult for ministers to relocate after they are 55 years old. That is strange because they have had years of experience and gained in wisdom. There is no reason for congregations to assume a younger pastor will attract younger members. Young families do not need a pastor who is their peer. In my younger years, I served a congregation which was growing with younger families. I did not have enough maturity to really provide wise counsel for them. We fought like siblings. It reached a point where we were so embroiled in conflict that I had to leave.

Discerning our calls today is a significant endeavor. Are we to go, to settle down, to get the hell out, or are we being sent? There not a singular biblical options. There is not a singular option which applies to everybody all the time. How can we be faithful disciples in answering God’s call upon our life? Where does our personal context influence how we hear and respond to God’s call? At one time, Presbyterians spoke of permanent and temporary calls. A permanent call carried the implication that the pastor and congregation would be bound to one another, and not seeking after another. Now, all calls seem to be temporary.

What are we to do? Go? Get the hell out? Settle down? Come? Be sent? Probably somewhere in the course of our pastoral service we will experience them all.

What Do Goldilocks, Temperature, and Revelation 3:15-16 have in common?

Many of us remember the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. The chairs were too big or too small. The soup was too hot or too cold. The beds were too hard or too soft. Eventually, she discovered one of each which was “just right.”

This morning on the Today Show the hosts were commenting about the unusually cool summer this has been in many locations. The complaint was we have not had enough weather with ninety degree temperatures, particularly in the Midwest and Eastern regions. Last winter the complaint was about unusually cold winter in the same regions. One woman complained that this year’s public swimming pool pass was really expensive compared to the number of times the weather was warm enough to go swimming.

A common complaint in many congregations is the temperature in the worship area is either too hot or too cool. Both complaints can be heard from different people on the same Sunday. One creative pastor installed a new thermostat conspicuously located in the worship area. Members would be free to set the temperature at whatever level they wanted. Those who were too hot could turn it down. Those who were to cool could turn it up. After adjusting the temperature setting neither those too cool nor too hot complained. Most felt the temperature was “just right.” What the membership was not told the thermostat was non-functional.

Revelation 3:15-16 is addressed to a particular congregation, Laodicea, but it can be attributed to many congregations, today. ¹⁵ “I know your works; you are neither cold nor hot. I wish that you were either cold or hot. ¹⁶ So, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” Out of fear of offending; in an effort to avoid conflict; in an attempt to keep everybody happy, many congregations can be considered lukewarm. Generally, as pastors, we say we wish they were either hot or cold. The truth be told, we are just as happy if they are lukewarm.

A lukewarm congregation is pretty easy to serve. Sermons do not have to be challenging nor addressing any controversial topics. As long as just enough money comes in to fund this year’s budget there is no need for an assertive stewardship emphasis throughout the year. Contributing to the local food and clothing pantry lets us off the hook from addressing the real causes and issues of poverty in our community. The members may be spiritually bankrupt and biblically illiterate, but as long as worship attendance it at a decent level we can assume they are being fed.

Lukewarm congregations are an indictment of us as pastors. We encourage lukewarm congregations by being lukewarm ourselves. Do we have any passion for evangelism, for social justice, for the spiritual development of the people we are called to serve? I admit, as a pastor and as a presbytery executive, I was just as happy when the congregations and presbytery I served were lukewarm. They were easier to serve; there was less conflict; there were fewer "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" being hurled in my direction. It was easier to “keep the peace” than to deal with conflict.

Is being a lukewarm pastor serving a lukewarm congregation faithful?