Defeating the Dragon and Routing the Monster

In yesterday’s blog I suggested that naming the dragon was half the battle in defeating it, and that naming the monster under the bed gave us some level of control over it rather than it controlling us.

It is a fair question to ask,  “Okay, Smart Guy, how do we defeat the dragon and rout the monster?” I admit, it is not as easy as Gandalf declaring to the Balrog, “You shall not pass.” We  have to remember that even though the Balrog did not cross the bridge and fell into the pit of flames, Gandalf the Gray also fell into the flames, but later appeared as Gandalf the White. Engaging the dragon or monster in a quest to defeat it places us in peril. Where do we find the courage to accept the potential peril and to engage the dragon/monster?

I have no where else to turn than to the sacred writings of my tradition. I am not the first, nor will I be the last, to look for encouragement upon entering the battle with the dragon or monster which I most fear. Encourage is an interesting word. Originating from Fifteenth Century old French it means to make or put into the heart courage. (http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=encourage).  We think of the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz who lacked courage. Here are some places where I typically find the courage to take on the dragons/monsters which frighten me.

First, the whole thirty first chapter of Deuteronomy is one of my mainstays. The forty years in the wilderness is nearly over for the Hebrew people. Their temporal leader, Moses, is giving his farewell address. He is fully aware of the fear and anxiousness of the people. In verse six Moses declares, Be strong and bold (courageous); have no fear or dread of them, because it is the Lord your God who goes with you; the Almighty will not fail you or forsake you. To engage my personal dragons and monsters and the dragons and monsters in the world, I have to believe there is a higher power who has me covered.

The second is very much the same, Joshua 1:9. The Lord God is commissioning Joshua to take over as the leader before crossing the Jordan, I hereby command you: Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. For those of us in leadership, whether in secular or ecclesiastical settings, in one way or another we too have been commissioned to our role. If the people we lead are to be strong and courageous, we have to be courageous, not because we are so physically, emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually better than others, but because we believe the Lord our God is with us wherever we go. That doesn’t mean we believe the flaming sword of the Lord will clear the way for us, but that we are not alone as we engage the dragons and monsters.

Thirdly is Ephesians 6:10-18, Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. This armor is not the heavy, bulky armor Saul wanted David to wear in his confrontation with the giant Goliath. Physical armor is useless in the battle with dragons and monsters (rulers, authorities, cosmic powers, spiritual forces of evil). We need not be naked and defenseless when we take on the dragons and monsters.

Lastly, is Romans 8:37-39,  …. I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Oh, we like Gandalf, when we take our stand against the dragons and monsters of our life and in the world and declare, “You shall not pass,” may die with the Balrog. However, death is not the last word. As Jesus was raised from the dead, so too shall we be raised with him.

That is where, whether in my own life, in the church or in the world, I find the courage to engage the dragons and monsters.

The Monster Under the Bed

What frightens you most? Death? Living? Being incapacitated? Being penniless? The list could go on ad infinitum. But deep down in your being what frightens you most?

Until we can name what frightens us the most we are a slave to avoiding it. We will do whatever we can to avoid confronting our greatest fear. Somewhere I once read that half of the battle in killing a dragon is naming it. The unknown, unnamed, is far more fearsome than that to which we can attach a name. One of the most horrible parts of being seriously ill is not having a diagnosis, a name, for the illness. Without a name our imagination runs wild.  Knowing the name takes away the mystery, the foreboding.

There is not a person alive, who is not frightened by something. It might be the boogie man or the monster under the bed. One ploy to help children when they are frightened by the unseen, the unknown, the projected, is to give it a name. If the monster under the bed is named Harry. Harry becomes a lot less frightening. Then we can address the monster under the bed directly. We can read to Harry the children’s book written for frustrated parents by Adam Mansbach. Naming the monster under the bed gives us a level of power over that which frightens us.

To say nothing frightens us is to be less than honest with ourself, at best. Those who proclaim that nothing frightens them are most vulnerable to be taken totally unaware at the worst possible time, frozen in place and having wet their pants. They have no name for that which frightens them and are easy prey.

This is the season for graduation from academic, professional, military, religious  and other institutions designed to prepare us for the “real world.” The graduates, all spit shined and full of themselves, confidently set out to make a place for themselves and to conquer the world. Oh, if they only had some idea of the ravenous wolves and lurking dragons which await just around  the corner. Some may be a little scared, but most do not know enough, have not experienced enough, to be truly frightened. Have we failed them in not being brutally honest with them about that which awaits them and which frightens us?

The best thing we can do is to acknowledge what frightens us and sharing the name we have given it. Life is not all Disneyland. If we (those who are to be mentors, coaches, and leaders of these newly minted graduates) constantly act like we have our stuff together and that nothing frightens us are we not passing on our dishonestly to those who will one day take our place?

Let’s quit kidding ourselves. We all have a monster or dragon which frightens us in our deepest being. Let us have the courage to name it and to take a modicum of control over it. Let us model an authentic life rather than hiding our fears only to be enslaved to the monster under the bed.

Spending and Being Spent

Every organism and organization has a life cycle. There is birth and death for every finite thing including the congregation which is near and dear to our heart. Martin F. Saarinen, writing for the Alban Institute, describes the congregational life cycle. http://s3.amazonaws.com/mychurchwebsite/c3935/lifecycleofacongregation.pdf. We do not like to think of our own death. We are a death denying culture. This is accepted as truth in many scholarly venues as http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/6729531.

We act like we and everything will, or should, last forever. Even when one has experienced cardiac arrest we count on doctors and medical apparatus to get the heart beating again. When we perceive our congregation is on a path toward death we count on a redevelopment specialist to bring new life. In the life of a congregation we do not recognize how far we are on the path of death until it is too late to resuscitate it back to life.

In many instances in our own life, and in the life of our congregation, we contribute to a premature death. Individually and collectively we are too sedentary, eat the wrong foods, fail to keep mentally alert, and rust out long before we would wear out. I just listened to a podcast which dealt with dying congregations (which I believe would also apply to denominations). Carey Nieuwhof was interviewing Thom Rainer. Rainer has written a book entitled Autopsy of a Deceased Church: 11 Things I Learned. I encourage you to listen to the podcast. (http://careynieuwhof.com/2015/05/episode36/)

Most of what Rainer learned is congregations hasten the death spiral by becoming inwardly focused. He suggests this can be easily tracked in a review of the church budget over the course of several past years. The congregation which spends more on itself and meeting the desires of the membership than it does in local and world mission is a dying church. Dave Ramsey, among others, says the congregation’s budget clearly indicates it priorities. http://www.daveramsey.com/blog/church-budgeting-who-sees-the-numbers/ Jesus says much the same thing in Matthew 6:21, Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

If we want our congregations to find new life we have to look beyond “saving our congregation” to proclaiming and demonstration the Gospel beginning in our communities. If the congregation were to disappear tomorrow who would miss it and why would they miss it? If the only ones who would miss our congregation are its members, the congregation is far down the path to death. What is the congregation known for in the community? A congregation I once served was known in the community as “old, rich, doing nothing and dying.” OUCH! We tried to turn that around, and made some progress, but it didn’t happen overnight. The final gasp of the congregation may not come for some time, but the death of an inwardly focused congregation is fast approaching.

Spending and being spent on behalf of others brings life to self and to our congregations. For whom are you and your congregation being spent? What was it Jesus said? For whosoever shall desire to save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake shall find it. (Darby Bible Translation, Matthew 16:25, http://biblehub.com/matthew/16-25.htm )

Locking Horns

This morning I received an advertisement for a DVD series called Betrayed: The Clergy Killer's DNA. I did view the trailer. I doubt I will purchase the series. I was reminder of the book written by G. Lloyd Rediger in 1997 entitled, Clergy Killers: Guidance for Pastors and Congregations under Attack. Stories abound in ministerial circles of how just a few people in a congregation can raise such a fuss the pastoral relationship comes to an involuntary termination, or enough time is bought for the pastor to relocate.

The smaller the congregation the more power can be exercised by a very small group of disgruntled members. Sometimes all it takes is one buck elder, or matriarch, to bring a pastor to their knees not in prayer but crushed beneath the scathing attacks and vicious rumors. Of course, the church bullies cloak the accusations behind the invisible “They.” “They said….” They don’t like….” “They’ll leave if….” When pressed for the names of the “they,” the response is most often, “Well, I can’t say ‘they’ told me in confidence.”

At times the clash between the pastor and the buck elder (male or female) can be so loud and frightening others of the flock to run for cover seeking safety in their silence and in their absence. The irresistible force meets the immovable object. Many a young pastor has been warned, “Don’t lock horns with Elder Jones.” In numerous cases, Elder Jones has far more experience in taking on and taking down pastors than the pastor will have had in dealing with Elder Jones.

A few years ago, the US Army used the recruiting slogan “Be an Army of One.” Even the best trained and armed Ranger or Navy Seal knows they are not “an Army of One.” So too, in the face of adversity a pastor cannot effectively deal with the “clergy killers” single handedly. In one of the family systems courses I had, the advice was “mobilize the bystanders.” Who are the bystanders? They are the other elders and leaders of the congregation, who may be afraid to standup to Elder Jones alone, but might find courage together. They may be members with untapped influence. They are the ones who say to you privately, “I am sorry Elder Jones is causing so much trouble for you.” Mobilizing the bystanders means building them up and encouraging them to speak up when they see Elder Jones behaving badly. It is one thing for the pastor to call out Elder Jones, and quite something else for a fellow member to name the bad behavior. Ultimately, following Matthew 18:15-17, naming the behavior publicly.

In some ecclesiastical systems the pastor can call for help from the presbytery, synod, conference or district. It is a political reality, however, that even for them the pastor ultimately is the easiest changeable factor in the equation. I know of only one situation, after three or four involuntary terminations of pastors, in a relativity short span of time, that the presbytery said, “Enough,” and closed a small congregation.

“Clergy Killers” live on because the system allows them to. Very few “clergy killers” really do not like ministers. They are more often motivated by needs for power and control. They fear losing their power, control, and influence within the congregation to the new and inexperienced minister. The more the pastor resists the buck elder the more Elder Jones has to prove he/she is the one in charge.

So what is one to do when faced with a clergy killer? First, do not engage in the battle. Second, if you must engage do not do it alone. Third, follow the advice of Scripture. Romans 12:14, 19-21

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. … Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord. But if your enemy is hungry feed them and if they are thirsty, give them a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on their head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Cultural Shift

What are some of the things you notice when you travel, even in your own country? For convenience and safety there are some things which are standardized. Highway signs are pretty universal. The malls and shopping centers are fairly standardized, a few of the store names are different. The big chain grocery stores are the ones which will frequently have different names: Kroger, Publix, Giant Eagle, Piggly Wiggly and so forth. There are many dialects even to the same language. It is not difficult to tell the difference in the spoken language between a person reared in Connecticut and a person from Mississippi. Except for chain restaurants, the taste of food can be significantly different. The local cuisine has a distinctiveness across the country.

Customs of the local populace are often different. Driving can be confusing and sometimes dangerous if you do not know the local patterns. Roundabouts in Boston can perplex a person whose driving has only been in the open spaces of Texas. In some places, when the traffic signals changes from green to red, the facing drivers give way to the remaining vehicle seeking to make a cross traffic turn. In other places one dare not try to make that turn because the facing traffic already will be moving forward in anticipation of the light change.

When I was in college my minor was in speech and drama. The college was small and did not have all the latest sets, props, lighting and sound equipment. We has to make our own set flats, from framing, covering with fabric, sizing with glue, base coating and then decorating. We built our own rheostat lighting board. Our coach, Bob Franks, knew many of us would be going to serve as teachers in smaller poorer school systems. He said, “If you had everything of the latest equipment here, you would be lost when you go where they have nothing. If you learn to improvise and make your own here, and go someplace where they have everything you will do fine.”

If one has been a long time member of a larger church the shock of moving to a radically smaller one can be overwhelming. Many you go to seminary are from mid-size to large congregations, but are often called to serve much smaller congregations. They may be used to a situation where program development and implementation was the primary expectation. In many smaller congregations they have neither the person nor the financial resources to support an unending string of programs. What they want most is a pastor who will love and care for them.

As a general presbyter, I used to say to new pastors coming into the presbytery, “Welcome to the mission field. If you were to go to serve in any other country would you expect things there to be the same as they were at home? Unless you are native born and reared in this particular culture of western Pennsylvania, do not expect things here to be the same as where you are coming from.” Even within the local cultural context each congregation will have its own culture and ways of doing things. Unless pastors take the time to learn the local ways, the pastorate can come to a premature screeching crash.

This is another example of where a coach can be of significant help to the minister. The coach can help the pastor reflect on and adapt to the new culture in which they are serving. Every time a minister relocates there is a new local and congregational culture to learn. The coach can be a valuable to the pastor as a guide through a new terrain in a distant land. Every time a minister relocates they enter the new congregation needing to learn the ways of the local inhabitants. A coach can facilitate the cultural adaptations necessary for a fruitful pastorate.

https://www.wayostccs.com

Learning the Local Culture

What are some of the things you notice when you travel, even in your own country? For convenience and safety there are some things which are standardized. Highway signs are pretty universal. The malls and shopping centers are fairly standardized, a few of the store names are different. The big chain grocery stores are the ones which will frequently have different names: Kroger, Publix, Giant Eagle, Piggly Wiggly and so forth. There are many dialects even to the same language. It is not difficult to tell the difference in the spoken language between a person reared in Connecticut and a person from Mississippi. Except for chain restaurants, the taste of food can be significantly different. The local cuisine has a distinctiveness across the country.

Customs of the local populace are often different. Driving can be confusing and sometimes dangerous if you do not know the local patterns. Roundabouts in Boston can perplex a person whose driving has only been in the open spaces of Texas. In some places, when the traffic signals changes from green to red, the facing drivers give way to the remaining vehicle seeking to make a cross traffic turn. In other places one dare not try to make that turn because the facing traffic already will be moving forward in anticipation of the light change.

When I was in college my minor was in speech and drama. The college was small and did not have all the latest sets, props, lighting and sound equipment. We has to make our own set flats, from framing, covering with fabric, sizing with glue, base coating and then decorating. We built our own rheostat lighting board. Our coach, Bob Franks, knew many of us would be going to serve as teachers in smaller poorer school systems. He said, “If you had everything of the latest equipment here, you would be lost when you go where they have nothing. If you learn to improvise and make your own here, and go someplace where they have everything you will do fine.”

If one has been a long time member of a larger church the shock of moving to a radically smaller one can be overwhelming. Many you go to seminary are from mid-size to large congregations, but are often called to serve much smaller congregations. They may be used to a situation where program development and implementation was the primary expectation. In many smaller congregations they have neither the person nor the financial resources to support an unending string of programs. What they want most is a pastor who will love and care for them.

As a general presbyter, I used to say to new pastors coming into the presbytery, “Welcome to the mission field. If you were to go to serve in any other country would you expect things there to be the same as they were at home? Unless you are native born and reared in this particular culture of western Pennsylvania, do not expect things here to be the same as where you are coming from.” Even within the local cultural context each congregation will have its own culture and ways of doing things. Unless pastors take the time to learn the local ways, the pastorate can come to a premature screeching crash.

This is another example of where a coach can be of significant help to the minister. The coach can help the pastor reflect on and adapt to the new culture in which they are serving. Every time a minister relocates there is a new local and congregational culture to learn. The coach can be a valuable to the pastor as a guide through a new terrain in a distant land. Every time a minister relocates they enter the new congregation needing to learn the ways of the local inhabitants. A coach can facilitate the cultural adaptations necessary for a fruitful pastorate.

https://www.wayostccs.com

The Lone Ranger

“Hi Ho, Silver, Away!” That shout and the William Tell Overture marked the beginning of one of my favorite TV shows, as a kid. Yes, it was The Lone Ranger! While the masked man, always in white, trusty Colts holstered to both thighs, and the famed silver bullets sought to right wrongs he never really was alone. The original dynamic duo of Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheals (The Lone Ranger and his faithful companion Tonto) seldom did anything alone.

I do not know how many times I have heard and have given the advice to pastors, “Don’t be a lone ranger.” For some reason most of us seem to fall into the trap of believing, “If it is to be, it is up to me.” I admit, I have fallen into that trap on more than one occasion. Having served on presbytery committees on ministry (the tradition bodies responsible for the care and oversight of ministers and congregations) and serving as primary staff for that committee of many years, my observation is ministers are prone to act like lone rangers. In part, I think that is because we are not taught how to truly work with the elders on the session.

We come from seminary with a shiny new sheriffs badge pinned to our robe thinking it is now our job to “call the shots,” because “there’s a new sheriff in town.” Some continue with that attitude throughout their ministerial service. Working with the Session is an art to be developed. Too often pastors tend to see, at least some elders, as advisories rather than allies in leading congregations in greater faithfulness as disciples of Jesus.

William Arruda makes a case for “Why You Need to Hire a Coach in 2015” in an article published in Forbes. http://www.forbes.com/sites/williamarruda/2014/12/09/why-you-need-to-hire-a-coach-in-2015/. I highly commend the article to the reading of all who are serving as a pastor whether newly sworn in or of long tenure. Arruda states, When it comes to building your personal brand, a coach can be a powerful resource who can help you get out of your own way, stand out, and take action to achieve the things that are truly important to you. For us as ministers, we can substitute “pastoral style” for “brand” in Arruda’s quote.

If leaders in business and industry are realizing the value of coaching, why has the Church not realized it also? Some presbyteries and synods are offering groups for new pastors. Only a few are providing for pastors, especially the newly ordained, to have a coach. If we counsel ministers not to be lone rangers, why do we use the sink or swim test in the first years of pastoral service without a swim coach?

I think it would have been very interesting to sit in on the campfire conversations between the Lone Ranger and Tonto (just as it would have been interesting to hear the nightly gathering of Jesus and the Twelve). My guess is that is where they mutually developed strategies to deal with the problems and bad guys they would be facing. I can hear them holding each other accountable for what and how things went. A coach is the pastor’s trail companion as Tonto was for the Lone Ranger.

Presbyteries and congregations can strengthen the pastor’s service by making sure the pastor has a coach. I have maintained the belief pastoral tenure can be lengthened by having a coach. It is not good for pastor or congregation to have a “new sheriff in town” every three to five years. In the long run, it is less costly for a congregation, presbytery or synod to invest in providing a coach for new pastors than to constantly be in the pastoral search process.

https://www.wayostccs.com