PAINFUL TRANSITION

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There may be no more painful transition than being fired. It strikes deep into our sense of self-worth. It raises fear for the future. At first, the only reaction is one of being stunned, especially if things had seemed to be going well until the moment of being handed the “pink slip.” One moment you thought the future would be the same as the past. Suddenly, in European terms, you are considered “redundant.” It feels like you has been grabbed by the shirt collar and thrown out on the trash heap.

Some organizations do provide some level of severance, but not many. Some offer “out placement services” to help with preparing a resume, and seeking a new position. Depending on the circumstances, one might qualify for unemployment insurance which might provide enough income to buy bread for a while between employments.

For ministers, it seems doubly painful. Most ministers understand their serving a congregation as their “call,” their God ordained reason for being. That is true in a broad sense of call to serve as a minister. It is also true in the specific call to serve a particular congregation. After conducting any number of baptisms, weddings, funerals the minister has developed a relationship with the people of the congregation. Add on top of that the myriad of hospital visits, home visits, being there in various crisis moments, leading classes and worship services and a bond, a sacred bond, is formed.

When the governing body of the congregation decides to seek dissolution of the pastoral relationship news often reaches the minister through back channels. A member who might be particularly close to the minister may call or stop by the pastor’s study with the news. I once came back from vacation early. My car was parked in front of the church. Two separate people stopped to tell me the news that the session had been polled and they were going to ask for my resignation. The session’s process was totally out of order, but the deed was done. After feeling the blood drain from my body leaving me with an icy feeling, I wanted to run to the restroom and puke. Being who I am, my next reaction was to mount a full counter assault, but the deed was done. Thankfully, enough time was bought in seeking to reconcile the situation to allow me time to seek and find a new call.

The church, at least the part in which many serve, has a non-existent out-placement process. The presbytery, conference, association or whatever the overseeing body is, may have some requirement for severance to be paid, because ministers are not eligible for unemployment compensation from the state. If anything beyond the minimum severance is to be paid the minister has to plead their own case and hope for a modicum of “Christian charity” to be extended. The sense of betrayal by those one has served is sword-edge sharp.

The usual time it takes to seek and acquire a new call is between a year and eighteen months. Dissolution of a pastoral call is a time of fear for the minister and their family. It is a time of grief and mourning. William Bridges, writes, I had always confused mourning and grieving, seeing them both as referring to missing the dead person terribly and weeping when you recalled things that you had done together. …(B)ut for me mourning was different. It was an almost cognitive process, where inwardly and at levels that I could only occasionally glimpse, I was dismantling a whole life structure and relinquishing the outlook that went with it. (The Way of Transition:Embracing Life’s Most Difficult Moments, William Bridges, Perseus Publishing, 2001, Kindle Location 880).

Ending a “call” with another in hand is sad in the ending, but the pain of severing relationship is softened with the promise of moving into a new position in a new place. Ending a call due to an involuntary dissolution of the pastoral relationship is more like the mourning described by Bridges. It is dismantling a whole life structure and relinquishing the outlook that went with it. One begins to question if the broader call to ministry was misread, and seriously doubts the ability to fulfill a particular call. It is a dark and lonely place.

From personal experience and by observing multiple involuntary termination of pastors, I know it is important to have another, who is not involved in the situation, to walk with the terminated pastor. Dismantling what was and taking steps toward a new future is hard work. A competent coach is a significant help in living through the transition.

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Wayne A Yost Coaching and Consulting Services